A passive-aggressive letter to Ezekiel from an elderly church lady
To the prophet Ezekiel:
Perhaps I am wasting my time by writing you this letter, but I feel I must say something in order to be true to my convictions. For the past 300 + days you have been laying down on one side of your body in front of a toy model of our holy city, tied up with ropes and cooking with your own feces.
Now, I have always thought that you were an attention-seeker, someone who just did things for their shock value and didn’t care a whit about anyone else, but this has proven it beyond all reasonable doubt.
You are a dirty, filthy, self-serving man, with no real intelligence to speak of. Instead of delivering God’s message in godly ways you have made a spectacle of yourself and are simply trying to get everyone to notice you. How shameful!
Please stop – you offend everyone just by being here.